even bigger

Well I thought things couldn't get bigger and more scarier...(scarier?) but they have.

...

I bought a house today.

Holy cow - this is HUGE.

Really I'm not sure how to feel. I'm excited, but I'm also scared, and a little overwhelmed, and still waking up in the middle of the night thinking about things I need to do.

Oh. My. Word.

But the bottom line is that it will be a great thing. I'm trusting God. I've prayed this WHOLE time that He would work out all things in this big endeavor. And He is good. All the time. Regardless of what is happening in my housing situation.

And that's exactly what I have right now - a housing "situation".

So, I'm off to pack. I've got to get all my stuff over to Mom and Dad's house, because next weekend I'm moving the furniture into a storage unit for awhile.
Here's to cardboard boxes.
K

firsts

This has been a couple weeks of firsts.

I sold my first house this week. Well, it's technically not sold yet - I signed the contract on Tuesday, but it won't be "officially sold" until mid-July. 

Today I met with a mortgage person (she was incredibly nice and unfailingly patient with my questions) and got pre-approved for a mortgage, so when it is time to buy a new house, I'll be ready.

I changed the bulbs in both my car headlights for the first time.
Let me be more specific - I've "been involved" in changing the bulb in the rear headlight before. I didn't *actually* do it, but my friend did it, and I got my head right down there and watched and asked a bunch of questions. The front ones were the same, but it was harder to get my hand under and around all the engine stuff. But I did it!

I called a plumber to fix a little water leak. OK, it's not the first time for that, but I'm proud of myself nonetheless.

I am getting ready to buy a house by myself (not first house, but first "buying experience"). Tomorrow is the first day that Mom and I will go out looking at actual houses with a Real Estate Agent. "Real Houses" as opposed to pictures on the internet. :)

This has all combined to make me feel pretty stinkin' self-sufficient! BUT, as we learned in last year's VBX, "no matter what, TRUST GOD!"

So I am trusting God to provide the right house, at the right price, and to work out all the little house-buying details that I don't even know about yet.

I'm not going to worry about it. I have a saying on my desk at work:
"Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but doesn't get you anywhere."
So, I will not worry. It's not productive, and besides: God's already got this worked out! (I just don't know how!)
From the old house,
K

break

Today I needed a break. I headed over to nbc.com and watched an episode of America's Got Talent. It was refreshing, and I even teared up a few times. It was just a "feel-good" moment. Well, more than a moment, but you get the idea.

The reason I needed a break is because I've been glued to the internet and TV news, and facebook, and twitter, and everything else possible to get information.

Because of this.

Last summer, I wrote here about being WAY out of town while parts of my city burned down, and now it's happening again.

They are calling it the Black Forest Fire, and so far it has totally destroyed over 90 homes and is not contained significantly at all. Today the wind shifted and the fire burned back on itself and is now headed in the opposite direction as yesterday, threatening another several thousand acres.

I've been watching the coverage, but this afternoon it got to be a little much.

So I headed over to the ol' interweb to watch the America's Got Talent that wasn't shown last night.

And it was just the break that I needed.

I'm still praying for the firefighters and planes and people helping fight this fire, and praying for the people who are evacuated. There will be lots and lots of damage once it is all over, and every bit of that is a person or family that is affected. But the words of a song by Building 429 keep going through my head:

This world has nothing for me
This life is not my own
I know You go before me and I am not alone
This mountain rises higher
The way seems so unclear
But I know that You go with me so I will never fear
I will trust in You
Whatever will come our way
Through fire or pouring rain
We won't be shaken

God is still God, regardless of what happens this week. And I will continue to trust Him. For what, I don't even know sometimes. But I will lean on Him.

And maybe watch a little less news.
K

houses

Yesterday I was driving around a neighborhood looking at houses. No, not stalking someone - I am selling my house, and looking to buy a different house, so the looking is OK.

As I was driving, looking at the differences in the houses, and noticing what they look like on the outside, the thought occurred to me: "I bet some of these houses are crazy dirty on the inside, even though they look good on the outside." I could not see any of the inside, of course, but I think it is likely that at least SOME of them had some mess going on inside.

And then it hit me: people are like that too.

We take a shower, do the hair, put on the smelly lotion, put on the mascara, and do our best to look good - to look like we have it all under control on the outside. Even though we may be a mess on the inside.

Lord please let my insides match my outside, and let them both be clean and pleasing to You.
K

old fashioned

I would like to take this moment to confess that I am old fashioned.

Now, I am not old fashioned in EVERYTHING...just in a few.

I like technology. I am willing to use technology. For some things, I embrace technology.

But today I sat down and paid bills - the old fashioned way. I took the bill, wrote out the check, marked it off on the sheet where I keep track of bills, put on the stamp, put on the return address label, and made a stack of said bills to drop off at the post office.

Now I realize that there are quicker and more electronically-savvy ways to do this task, but there is just something...tactile about paying bills with my hand and tongue and checkbook rather than with a mouse and keyboard. That way it feels like sending an email. My way I feel like I am *doing* something. Like my hands are actually doing it.

Yes, I pay some bills online. But it feels weird that way, and I much prefer the old-fashioned way.

I'm going to make it a point this summer to see where else I am old-fashioned, because I feel that I have equal parts "old-fashioned" and "forward-thinking".
K

the end

Today was the end of school.

I always feel kind of weird about this. I'm ready for school to be over, but I love my job and don't want to be away from kids for 10 weeks. I'm ready for a break, but I really like the people I work with and consider them friends - I don't want to be gone for 10 weeks.

And of course it is sad that a whole grade level of kids is moving up to Jr. Hi, and I won't have them again. Ever. I've been their music teacher for the past 6 years of their schooling, and now not. That's really what makes me sad this time of year.

And then there is the thought of being off work for 10 weeks, and there is rejoicing in my heart!

I feel very mixed emotions. I'm excited about being off, but sad about being off at the same time.

And I'm so grateful to love my job, to love my boss, and to work with such great people that I consider friends.

I guess I just don't know *what* to feel at this point.
K

sister

Tonight, sister came to hear me sing!!!

The group I sing in did the Verdi Requiem tonight with the Philharmonic. It really turned out great - I LOVE singing for their conductor, even though he is demanding. The ending took my breath away. Literally - I was afraid to breathe. Until, he lowered his arms and there was thunderous applause.

Wow.

But, the best part is that my sister got to be there! A friend of mine had a ticket, and sister was trying to decide when to go, or whether to take boys, or to not take boys. And when I called her offering that ticket, she said "Yes!" What a great way to spend a night together - me on stage and her in the audience.

Family is sweet.

And living close to family is even sweeter.
Thanks for comin', little bis,
K

home

I am home.

And grateful to be so. This is the only night this week that I am home, so I am relishing it. Mostly relaxing, but taking a *small* break to write. :)

3 concerts and 3 rehearsals in 7 days makes for a long "hell week", but it is worth it. The concert we did on Tuesday was fantastic, and I can say that because I had no part in it! Well, I sang, but I didn't do anything else; didn't choose music, didn't play any instruments, didn't have anything to do with the planning or music or execution at all. But it was great. The Air Force Academy band did the concert and my group just sang for a couple songs. The best part is that we got to enjoy about half the concert, when we weren't singing.

This weekend is a concert with the Philharmonic. It is Verdi's requiem and it will be great. Again, I didn't have anything to do with this one either, except contribute some singing. The conductor is tough - we had a rehearsal with him last Saturday, and I had to go home and practice several sections a little more. But it will be a great concert. He loves this music, and definitely communicates it to everyone around. Plus, he is from Spain, so he has a great accent!

The music is exhilarating, but the schedule is exhausting.

Here's to one more week until summer...
K

privilege

Last night it was my privilege to go see a concert.

This was a concert of the local Youth Symphony's little kids. The Youth Symphony is the top performing group in the organization, but there are 7 (?) groups under them. If you start in the youngest group, and practice, you can eventually play in all of them at one time or another, and hopefully end up in the Youth Symphony. It's a great organization.

Anyway, their littlest 3 groups played a concert last night, and I was invited.

So I went.

Truth be told, I felt a little celebrity, because I had TWELVE students performing there and every time one of them saw me I got a frantic hissing of my name and a very enthusiastic wave. It was a good feeling. :)

Also, it was a great feeling to see so many kids (about 100) up on stage performing together and showing off their musical skills. Even though I am a music teacher, and most definitely NOT a string player, it warms my heart anytime I get to have a part in anyone being musical - whether as a teacher, an encourager or as an audience member.

From the first song (a very simple playing of the Ode to Joy theme) to the last (Basses Loaded - 3 Jr. Hi aged girls playing String Bass solos, and one of my students doing a FANTASTIC twelve bar blues solo in the middle), it was a great night. Encouraging, uplifting, cultural and just downright fun.

And a great night was had by all.
K

little problems

I have problems.

Not REAL problems, but just my little ones.

My leg is bleeding. Today I was a dork (as usual) and didn't step away from the car far enough to safely slam the door. Thus, it took a chunk out of my leg. So I totally understand that this is not a huge problem. Or even a big problem.

But right now it is a little bit of a painful problem - my leg is throbbing.

But I guess because I did it to myself, I can't complain, now can I?

Me, to myself: Suck it up, Buttercup.
K