today by the numbers

over 600: the number of students that got up and sang for Grandparent's Day today

about 500: the number of Grandparents that attended

4: the number of golf carts that we used to transport Grandparents from "alternative parking" (the terrible field out back) up to the building

6: the number of birthday presents I got today

2: the number of my parents that were there today - not for me, of course, but they were there nonetheless

21: the number of risers that were handled (man-handled) in the process of tearing down after the morning program, setting up for lunch, tearing down lunch, setting up for the afternoon program, and then cleaning up

60: the number of blissful minutes that was my massage after the day was over. Best. Decision. Ever.

Happy Grandparent's Day!
K

laughter

The other day I fell over. In the middle of a 6th grade class.

I am fine, but it really was a funny experience.

I had walked around behind my piano to pick up a book that I dropped (this is making me sound clumsier by the minute...) and when I headed back around to my stool, my leg got wedged up next to the edge of my stage. Since my momentum was already headed to the right, and my feet were essentially stuck, I slowly fell over on the stage. Actually, it was more of a slow fall/sit/roll over onto the stage.

So, there I am, laying on my right side facing the class. But I couldn't see them at all.

Because I was laughing.

I was just thinking about how ridiculous it was that I just fell over in class.

Someone in the class said "ooohhh, oh no."

One of the boys laughed.

The rest of the class shushed him, and he relied, "But SHE'S laughing!"

I was thinking that I had to get myself up, so I rolled over on my back and was going to sit up, then stand. Right about then, another one of the boys said" I'm so confused. I want to laugh, but I feel like I should ask if you're OK."

That made me laugh even more.

I did get up, and told them I was fine, and explained how my feet got caught. Someone then said "Yeah! You fell over in slow motion!" And I laughed some more.

But In all of this, it was a good laugh. I laughed, they laughed, and we laughed together.

It occurred to the today how good it is to laugh. Not AT anyone, but just to laugh. Together. Even today, I think about this incident that happened 2 or 3 weeks ago, and I STILL laugh.

Laughter truly is good medicine.

I hope this gave you a laugh. :)
K

thoughts on what is important

Last week I went on a trip with about 90 people from my church. We had done a VBS here 2 weeks prior, and in order to be a blessing to a new church plant in Kansas City, we took our VBS there and did it for their church kids and the kids in the neighborhood.

What a great week. Our team was fantastic, and flexible, and wonderful to live with for a week. Even in the heat.

Closing Craziness

Our awesome team

Amazing students working with kids that came to VBS

Me, leading one of the sessions

I a grateful for the students that gave a week of their summer and went. They did a fantastic job of doing ANYTHING that needed to be done. Of loving on those kids that came to VBS. Of not complaining about the heat. And did I mention it was HOT? The hottest day was Wednesday, where we topped out at 105 degrees and about 60% humidity. You know how when you are baking, and you open the oven door, and the heat hits you in the face like a frying pan? That's how it felt every time you walked out into the heat.

But the heat aside, it was a great trip. We had a great time with the kids that came, many of them not knowing anything about church or God at all. Our students loved on these kids, and had fun with these kids, and most importantly showed Jesus to these kids. It was awesome.

But in the midst of this amazing journey, we had a reality check from back home. The day we left was the day that a fire started up in the canyon to the west of our city. We heard about the fire, but it was mostly background to the great things happening at our VBS trip. Until Tuesday. Tuesday, June 26, 2012 was the day that the winds shifted to the west, and the fire rolled over the mountains down into the city. At the worst, 35,000 people were evacuated out of their homes, 349 homes were destroyed by fire, and 2 people were killed. Even now, 2 weeks later, the fire is only at 80% containment, and there are still firefighters up in the hills working to keep any hot spots down, and contain the northern fire lines.

While this was happening back here at home, our phones were "blowing up" with texts and pictures from friends, and facebook posts and pictures about the fire. We had messages from out of state friends asking if we were OK. We had facebook pictures of the fire and destruction. We were streaming news to find out what was actually happening. But the worst was that we had several students and adults on the trip that were in the evacuation zone. Their house and family was threatened while they were away and couldn't be near. Eventually, we had to shut off the news, because it was really freaking several of them out, looking at pictures of the fire that was coming dangerously close to their homes.

We had several very personal discussions about how we have to trust God, because there is nothing we can do about this from Kansas City. Ironically, Trust God was the theme of our VBS, and we quite literally lived that out during the week. We went over what the important things are: Your family is safe. Your pets are at a shelter. You are here and safe. Your parents have gotten the few important possessions out of the house. You MUST trust God at this point. But when you are 12 years old, and on one of your first missions trips away from home, that is a difficult thing to do while looking at pictures like those above and knowing your house is in the path of that fire.

This past week, I have come to the conclusion that my friend Diane said it best: It comes down to Faith, Family and Friends. Everything else is just "stuff". In the heart of the fire raging, I asked my parents go to my house and pick up a couple papers for me. My mom asked if I wanted her to take anything else, and my answer was like Diane's: no. It's all just stuff.

If I was here, I probably would have taken a couple things that have sentimental meaning for me, but in the end, all that is still just stuff.

The important things in life are the things that cannot be quantified on an insurance form. Family. Faith. Eternal work for God's kingdom. And relationships with friends.

Am I glad it took this literal trial by fire to cement these things in my heart? No.
Am I thankful that I am a changed person, and have a clear vision of what IS important in life? Absolutely.

And as a final note, I am SUPREMELY grateful to those firefighters that have fought this fire for the past 2 weeks, and continue to do so. There are not enough words to express our gratitude to you.

Thank you.
K

blankets

And here we are.

'Tis the season of Blanket Roulette.

Today I put a blanket back on my bed. But this is the same blanket I took off about a week ago. And I took a different blanket off about 3 weeks before that.

3 days ago, it was SO hot when I was trying to go to sleep that I had bad dreams. Until it finally cooled off outside and when my alarm went off I was snuggled under my blankets all wrapped up like a burrito.

My favorite thing about living in Colorado is living with the windows open. When it is truly summer, I have to close them during the day, but as soon as the sun goes down I fling them wide open. There also may be a fan or two around to circulate the fresh Colorado air through my  house.

And it is delicious.

But no doubt that in a day or two I will have to either add or subtract a blanket (or several) to make for good sleeping.

But oh, let the worst problem I ever have be blanket roulette.
Thank you Lord, for the beautiful Colorado weather, and especially for the cool(ish) nights.
K

humbled

Last week I was humbled.

No, not like "I'm such a humble person."

I did something wrong, and totally had to humble myself and ask for forgiveness.

I spoke to someone at work harshly, and I shouldn't have. I had to go tell them I was wrong, and ask for forgiveness. But I am fortunate, because she was sweet to me, and everything is alright now.

Then, I had to apologize again. I had talked to our Assistant Principal about something, and gotten all upset that several of us weren't told about a situation.

Well. It turns out that the information we had was wrong, and we never needed to be told. I had to tell her I was sorry, and that my information was wrong, and that I should have checked it out before getting all irritable with her. She also was very gracious, and said I could talk to her any time. I do believe that. I believe that I CAN talk to her anytime, and if she has any answers she will give them.

But I also know that I jumped the gun, and should have checked out that information before assuming that we were slighted.

Huh.

Doesn't it always seem like things are clicking along great, and then a stick is thrown in your bicycle tire, and you end up gym-pants over tennis shoes on the ground? Then you have to regroup. That's what I felt like last week. Like I had to regroup. Like I was not a very good person. Like I am a big mess.

But you see, I am a big mess. I am human, and make mistakes just like everyone. Just because I have a low tolerance for mistakes doesn't mean that I don't ever make them.

I guess the lesson from last week is to think before you speak. Lesson learned. For now. I'm sure I will have this problem again, but I'm thankful that I am flexible enough to learn lessons. That I can learn from my mistakes. That I am able to humble myself and apologize.

I used to pray for flexibility, and I guess this is the answer to those prayers. Thank you God, for loving me enough to teach me and make me a better person.

Can it not be so painful next time???
K

tower of blocks

When my oldest nephew was about 3, his favorite thing to do was to build a huge tower of building blocks (taller than him!) and then knock it down. Now, he could build the tower, or you could build the tower, but he was going to be the one knocking it down! For a few years I was his regular babysitter, so I built lots of these block towers, and then picked then up again. But this could go on forever. He never tired of knocking down that tower, and watching it fall all over the floor.

Recently I have felt like I was under that tower as it fell all over me. Like everything came crashing down. Now, don't get concerned. I'm no heading off to Nepal to find myself, nor am I going on the "eat, pray, love" tour. But I do feel like I've been toppled over.

I think that the end of school, and having more on my plate than usual at work, and then getting really sick, and feeling obliged to go to the graduation parties and graduation ceremonies of all my graduating seniors in Youth Group has put a little pressure on. But, I've missed a bunch of that because I got a nasty cold that almost immediately turned into bronchitis. On Friday I should have been at our school's graduation, but I was at the doctor. Today I have 2 grad parties that I really want to go to, but I'm home taking my inhaler.

Really, there's no happy ending here. I'm sick and have to deal with it. I have missed several obligations, and still have work to do at school, but life goes on. I guess the end of this story is that I have to crawl out from under these blocks and go on.

And I will.

Thanks for listening...
K

car keys

My keys, with the BRAND NEW car key prominently displayed!

OK, Here's the end of the story, that began here. on Monday morning, I trucked downtown, on icy streets, I might add, and in my Mom's car to talk to the guy at the key place. When I walked in, he asked if that was my car in the lot, and I said yes and laid down my car key on the counter. He said, "Well, you don't even need to tell me what happened. I can tell just by looking at the key." And he proceeded to tell me exactly what happened over the weekend. He then said that they would take the entire ignition out of the car, and remove {something} that had worn down, and replace it with {something} that would not catch on the key anymore. Like my grasp of the technical jargon??? And, oh, by the way, my driver's side door is going to be the next to go because it is the next most used lock. And then the trunk. So I asked him to cut a new key while they were at it so I had a fresh key to work with from now on.

I handed over the keys, and he said he would call me when it was fixed.

I headed mom's car toward home, at a rather leisurely pace, and stopped close to my house to replace some of the gas I had used over the past couple days I had driven her car. As I neared my house, the phone rang, and it was the lock place - they were all done!

Mom and I headed back downtown and picked up my now working car. Turning that car key was the most blissful thing I had done in a long time. And the kicker: the whole deal only cost me $71. Amazing!

Lesson: Don't give in to the knee-jerk reaction of freaking out when something happens to your car. Or when something happens in general.

Lesson: Ask people who are knowledgeable and see what they recommend, instead of imagining the worst. God put people in your life for a reason.

Lesson: Lean not on your own understanding, ESPECIALLY when it comes to cars or other technical matters.

Lesson: Be grateful. I am SO grateful for my parents, and their help. For so long, I lived 3000 miles away from any family, and got very used to being self-sufficient in almost everything. I am grateful that I have a loving supportive family that graciously helped in whatever I needed.

Here's to learning what you can in every situation, and for God's grace in my life, making me teachable and flexible. And to not freaking out next time...
K

healing

My facebook status update from 2 minutes ago: cannot even deal with a broken car right now...

This whole thought of dealing with my car that won't start is really stressing me out. It's not the battery, or anything else engine-wise - it's that the key physically won't turn. I fiddled with the steering wheel and got it to turn once, but then I got to church and parked it. As soon as I took the key out, that was it. No more turney-key.

So I am home, safe and warm, but with my mom's car in my garage instead of mine. Mine is still at the church.

Yes, yes, I know that car troubles are not the end of the world, but it just feels like that right now. It makes me all stressy and unpleasant.

The upside of this is that my parents live here in town, and came to my rescue. Dad came and picked me up, mom let me borrow her car, and they are going to help me tomorrow when I try and get it started with a different key, and hopefully drive it down to the lock place with me. Otherwise, I will have to get it towed there.

{breathe...breathe...}

Really, in the big scheme of life, this car thing is not the end of the world. My parents are helping me willingly with getting it fixed; I am safe and warm at home; I AM able to take off on Monday if I need to deal with it then.

I just need to get some perspective, and talk myself into NOT having a panic attack over nothing. To be able to deal without losing my cool. As if I had any cool to begin with...

I subscribe to (in)courage by e-mail. (in)courage is a blog written by a group of christian women, and I love reading them. There always seems to be something pertinent and timely on there, and I get an e-mail each day with the day's message. Today, as I came home all twitterpated over this car thing, I opened up the (in)courage e-mail, and Mindy Carlettini had written about her 10 year anniversary as a follower of Christ, but this happened to also be her 10 year anniversary of being off narcotics. She was pondering the times when she could escape reality by getting high, and she said that she didn't tell anyone this for a long time. Finally she talked to her husband about it, and realized that she didn't really want to go back to that escape like she thought she did. And then she writes:

"The difference now though is that when the storms of life come, when I turn to my father in Heaven, I don’t feel the need to escape from reality.  God’s love gives me strength and a confidence that I never could have imagined.  He gives me the will and the desire to keep on going.  He reminds me that He loves me with a love that is so huge and so encompassing that I don’t need to get high when everything around me seems to be spinning out of control. He gives me peace.
I am so thankful for the ways my father loves me.  I am so thankful for the ways He is healing me and transforming me.  I am so thankful for His spirit that is always with me and I am never alone."

Yes, I realize that her experience is very different than my car thing, but it still applies. I AM thankful that my Father loves me, even when I am stressing over my car. I have unimaginable peace, knowing that He even cares about the things that otherwise seem insignificant. I can turn my eyes toward Jesus, instead of having my eyes on the rear view mirror in worry.

So, I am praying that He will heal my car, using the guys at the key place. And I'm praying that He will give me peace in the middle of the key situation. And I'm thankful that God heals in  big ways (broken lives) and in little ways (broken cars).

You should check them out: www.incourage.me
K

so much to say...

wow.

wow. wow. wow.

I'm not sure I have words for all that's happened in the past 2 weeks, but here goes. I feel the need to write about it, and get it off my chest. (Really off my brain, but that's for another time!)

To start, I went away for a week to Louisville, KY with the Youth Group for a huge youth conference. That, I will have to tackle in another post, because it's a whole thing unto itself.

Let's start with the good news/bad news, shall we?

First off, I came home from the trip sick. Not really a major deal, but the cold that about 8 of us got on the last day or two of the trip. I rested about 20 hours the day after returning, because I was so tired. All well and good so far. Until the next day...
I work up and KNEW that something was wrong. Called the Dr. and got in that morning. Turns out that the cold had worked its way down into my chest, and I had bronchitis. For me, this is the usual course of action, so I wasn't dismayed. When I went to the Dr., I had a temp of 101.5. No WONDER I was feeling so bad!

I'm on the usual drugs now, and feeling a little better every day.

In this situation, I am so grateful that I didn't get bronchitis while ON the trip because that would have been terrible! I'm grateful that my Dr. understands what's going on, and that there are cheap drugs that will fix me right up. I'm also grateful that I had time to rest and get better.

OK, next situation.
On Tuesday night, my downstairs toilet exploded. This is the 2nd time in 3 months, and it was hellacious to clean up. I shop-vac-ed almost a whole canister of "water" off the floor before it was all over, and then had to clean up after all of it. I called Roto-Rooter and they couldn't come until morning, so the next morning I had the Roto-Rooter guy at my house bright and early. He listened to me, and immediately called the HOA to tell them that the main sewer line needed to be cleaned out.

So, the sewer clean-up was not the greatest experience, and at one point during I was dripping sweat, and crying because I didn't feel good (bronchitis, remember?) and didn't want to be doing THIS! But I pulled up my big-girl panties and did it. Gave me a sense of accomplishment, actually.

For this I am SO grateful for a couple things:
First, that it didn't happen while I was out of town. Blllleeeeeeech. I cannot even imagine that sitting on my floor for days.
Second, that the Roto-Rooter guy didn't even fiddle with my toilet, because he KNEW that the problem was in the main line. This is a blessing because the HOA won't randomly fix things unless they KNOW that it is not anywhere inside one of the units. If I called and talked to them about this, it went nowhere. But when the Roto-Rooter guy called them directly...well, he's my new favorite person.
I'm also grateful that I didn't have to pay for any of this huge repair and be reimbursed - since he called first, the HOA just took care of it totally.

Yes, it was an inconvenience to not use water at all during the day while it was being fixed, but when I step back and look at the whole picture, everything really did turn out good in the end.

I'm taking a cue from my friend Beth over at Like a Day Off, and looking at all things with JOY.

Next, the skinny on LIFE, and all the LIVES it changed.
K

this chair hurts my butt

So today I've been sitting here much more than usual, because I'M OUT OF SCHOOL! Right now, I'm at home on the computer. As I have been much of the afternoon. What a lovely time, to not have any obligations and to feel such freedom. I love that feeling!

But seriously, the chair is hurting me. It's cutting into the back of my thighs, roughly around where my hamstrings are located. I've been sitting here too long.

But it got me to thinking -- sometimes I sit there too long. I think there are times in life where what we really need is to get up and go somewhere. To head off in a direction. Any direction. And yet we sit.

I know I'm guilty of sitting when I should be doing something else, or working toward a goal somewhere that's NOT right here next to my chair.


Is there somewhere you should be headed??
K

visitation

I just got back home.

This past weekend I took my 5-year-old nephew on a trip. I used to live in GA, and his Mimi and Grandpa still live there, so we went to visit. It was a good trip in all - he's been on a plane several times so the "trip" part was fairly easy. I just made sure that we had plenty of time for everything we had to do, and that meant there was never any "c'mon, we've got to go! we're gonna miss the plane!" I think that would have been a disaster.

Anyway, we made it out there and I thought that he was going to burst before we actually arrived. He was wiggly, and excited, and couldn't sit still on the plane at all. But in his defense, it was pretty exciting! I got to take off school for 2 days in order to go, so I was excited too (but for different reasons! It totally felt like playing hooky...)
After getting him settled at Mimi and Grandpa's, I drove an hour to where I used to live. I lived there for 10 years, and I've only lived here for 6, so I still felt a little like I was going "home".

I was totally mistaken.

I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it was not at all what I got.
I think the problem was that I didn't think about what I was expecting, or what I wanted to get out of the whole deal.

I'm still the same person, right?
I'm still friends with all my friends, right?
Everything's still the same, right?

Nope.

On the whole, it was a nice visit. I got to see some good friends that I made at work. I went to my old church, and got to talk to my pastor. He's going through some things that my family went through in the past few years, so I was able to just let him know that there is an end in sight.
I got to visit with who I would consider my "best" friend from the whole time I lived there - we worked together for 7 years, and even went on a cross-country vacation together. Over iced coffee (it was HOT there! OK, not so hot, but wicked humid) we just sat and talked for a couple hours, while quietly sweating. Saw pictures of each other's family, and how the nephews are getting bigger. And we met for dinner the next evening over amazing Cuban food and sweet tea.

But there was nothing there. Not that I was expecting a relationship, but we've both moved on, and I suddenly realized that, standing in the parking lot of a restaurant in 5 points.

I've moved on.

I'm not sure I was ready to move on.

...

But this is life. And life goes on.

Ultimately that is a good thing, but when it slaps you across the face it has a tendency to wake a person up. I feel like my life there is over, and I wasn't quite ready for that.
So, here's to finding my new life here from now on.
No looking back.
No wistful glances over my shoulder.
No teary trips through the photo albums. (Yes, I have photo albums!)
Here's to keeping your eyes on the road ahead.
K

mother's day

No, don't panic. This weekend is not Mother's Day. But, it is coming up, and I'm excited. I love my mom and all, but this Mother's Day will be a little different.

Mom and Dad are building a house up in the mountains, and it's pretty cool. They have a nice view of some pretty peaks, and it is in a beautiful wooded area, but still close to civilization. I went up a couple weeks ago, and it's getting close to being done. The inside was painted, but there still needs to be bath fixtures, cabinets, floors, and lots of other things installed. But, their builder says the outside is done and it looks great.

Here's a view from one of the upstairs windows:




So, installing the wood floors is a pretty big job, but if we all gather up and do it ourselves it will save them tons of money, so that's what we are going to do. On Mother's Day weekend.

I know, it seems like a weird day to do wood floors, but that's the only weekend that would work for everyone. So our Mother's Day will be gathered around in an unfinished house, on un-installed floors, with a faint odor of floor sealant.

But we will be together.

That's the cool thing to me in all this - that we will be working in an unfinished house, in a not-really-ideal Mother's Day setting, but we will all be together. OK we are going out to lunch, so it won't be a picnic in the unfinished living room, but we will still be together.

That's why I up and moved across the country, so I could be near family. I'm so grateful that I get to be a part of my family again, and that I get to do things like a Mother's Day in an unfinished house.

Love you Mom.
K

time in a bottle, time to go, time...

Yesterday I woke up at 5:15. Sheesh...I tried to go back to sleep, but I couldn't so after about 15 or 20 minutes I just got up and took my shower. As I was doing my hair, I noticed that the clock in the bathroom said "7:00". After walking in to the bedroom to check that it was only 6am, I remember thinking that it was weird that I didn't change that clock to "fall back" an hour, but whatever.
So I changed it back.

Went downstairs, made breakfast, did a couple things around the house, made my lunch, then headed out the door. I had to stop at the bank before school, so I drove up to the drive-through. As I was sitting there, I glanced at the clock in my car, and thought I was having a twilight zone-moment: the clock said 8:20.

I reached for the clock to change THAT one back an hour too, then...

pulled out my cell phone and it said 8:21. OH NOOOOOO.......

I called school (where I was supposed to be almost 45 minutes ago) and when Penny confirmed that it was indeed 8:22, I really didn't know what to say.

Well all's well that ends well, and the rest of the day ended up being fine, but it is so discombobulating to be off by an hour, and not know it, then find out almost by accident, then be behind and have missed several things I should have done in that time.

I just realized that Not only do I have a clock in every room, I am totally dependant on them and am a very scheduled person. Not that I have a full schedule, but when that schedule gets thrown off it turns me upside down.

Is there a way to be less time-dependant, and still accomplish the things I have to do in life (like get to work on time)? Can somehow I not always need the time-keeping, and be able to go with the other rhythms of life, like the sun and the moon? Can I find a balance between the necessity of getting to work on time, and MAKING time to not be time-bound?

In my own time,
K

power!

I feel totally empowered!

This week I changed the bulb in my car's dome light, changed the wiper blades, got one of the guys at the auto parts store to put in a new headlight bulb, and today I refinished my headlights!!! Usually car-stuff makes me want to have someone else take care of whatever needs to be done, but that time had come, so I stepped up.

Just want to point out that the headlight refinishing involved using my drill, and 3 grades of sandpaper as well as a polishing attachment.

I'm so proud of myself!

Just wanted to share with someone...
K

lights out

The other night I came home, and my neighbor was out in the street, waving around a flashlight. So I stopped. While I stopped, I hit the button for my garage-door opener. 'Cause that's what I do when I pull into my street. And my neighbor was very nice.
He said, "That won't work".

Huh.

"Did you say that won't work? (pause for my brain to work for a moment). "Why?"

" 'Cause the power is out. (pause for me to comprehend) We don't have any power."

So I said thanks, and idled there for a minute, totally thrown by the fact that I didn't have any power.

I eventually parked in the driveway, and made my way up to the the door and into my house. It was a little weird, but I made it. Had to use my cell phone to get up the stairs, but I made it. I found a flashlight that I keep on the upstairs landing for this purpose, and found my way around. I lighted one of those "jar candles", and put it on my dresser, so I could see in the bedroom. Then I used that candle, and the flashlight to find my way around and light some other candles, and eventually it looked like I was having a seance with all the candles. It looked like the "talking to the dead" scene in Ghost. I hope I DID NOT look like Whoopie Goldberg, though...

I had a nice time, being quiet, and doing a sudoku, and I turned on my laptop and played games on the computer for a little bit. It was nice.

But it got me to thinking, as I took my candle into the bathroom, to brush my teeth, that this must have been how Laura Ingalls Wilder felt, and how she did everything back in the day. I totally felt like Little House On The Prairie!

It was a good feeling, to be able to do everything I needed to do, but still conquer the lack of electricity. Maybe I am flexible after all...

Turn out your lights once in awhile.
K