relationships, and the other crap...

So, I was laughing with my students today, in a class, and I had an epiphany. A moment. A realization. I realized that I really DO love teaching, and I really like spending time with my kids. It's all the other crap that I can live without.

I really enjoy the relationships that we have. I like when I saw 2 students at WaterWorld this summer, and they stopped to say hello. I like when I walk down an aisle in the grocery store and some little voice yells out, "You're my music teacher!" I really like when someone is heading out to recess, and they turn around to run up and give me a hug. It makes me feel like I make a difference.

So I guess that the other crap doesn't really matter. Like the pencils (which I STILL can't use in class...) or all the meetings, or the performances to prepare for. That's all the things I put up with, to get to spend time with my kids.
I'm just sayin'...

K

Noah

Well, this is for Noah. My nephew, Noah, is 5 years old now, and he's starting Kindergarten! I am SO proud, and excited that he is starting Big Kid school! When I moved across the country to take this job 5 years ago, the HUGE benefit was that I'd get to be close to family. Noah was 2 months old when I moved. Now he's 5. FIVE! I love him to death, and am so excited for him to start school. What an exciting time in life. How neat to have everything be new. I can't remember a time in my life when I WASN'T in school, and here he is on his first day. EVER! I've so proud of you buddy!

Love you bunches,
Auntie K.

what is wrong with me?

Well, I guess I got a good glimpse into my humanness today. (Humanity? Humaniosity?) Anyway, I cried today at school. Kinda wierd, especially since I don't consider myself a crier. Cry-er. Whatever.

There's this issue with using pencils in my class...really it's a little, trivial, stupid thing that will get sorted out and in a month no one will even remember it. But somehow this morning, it seemed overwhelming. Or maybe it was several other, minor things that it was added to, and THAT made it overwhelming. I don't know. The bottom line was that I thought about it, and all of a sudden the tears started.

And once they started, I could NOT get them to stop.

Well I realized several inportant things through this episode today. One, I am again very grateful for my frends. About half-an-hour after I got back to class and was talking to my students, Penny brought me a Diet Dr. Pepper. No fanfare, no hug, no pitiful look for the person who can't control their emotions. She silently slipped into class and set the Holy Grail of Soda on my desk. It was so sweet. I was moved. But don't worry, there was no more crying. :)

Two, I am so grateful for my family. My sister called tonight and asked what happened today, and then sweetly listened to me while I told her the whole stupid crying story. She even laughed at me, which I really needed. It is such a blessing to have loving family - she's awesome.

Just a little exercise in gratefulness.
Thanks for listening.

Much Love, K

new beginnings

Wow, I love Saturday mornings! It feels like the whole weekend is spread out on a table in front of me, and I can enjoy the whole thing! Getting up on Saturday morning is one of the most delicious feelings!

I was talking to someone at school this week, and we were talking about getting back into the school schedule. I told him that, even though I'm not Jewish, I am TOTALLY down with Jewish New Year. This time of year is the beginning of so many things - my birthday is coming up soon, school is starting, and I love the idea that starting school means starting over. New year, new teacher, new class, new classroom. I have always loved going back to school. It just FEELS like the start of the new year. It feels like a new beginning.

Besides, January doesn't feel like New Year at all! It's cold, I'm tired, and it feels more like the leftover celebrations from Christmas. And then we start in on the longest stretch of the school year, where it's a slow, hard grind until Spring Break.

So, I think, in my own non-Jewish way, I'm going to start celebrating the new year in the fall. Any ideas to help me celebrate???
Tonight I'm going out to dinner and a movie with 2 girlfriends. That sounds like a good way to start...

Find your new beginning.
Much Love, K

the moving sidewalk

Well I still don't know what to say about David's sudden passing. I think it is a little more shocking that I might have thought, just because he was exactly my age. I mean people in their mid-30's don't just wake up feeling out of sorts, then pass away suddenly. At least I hope they don't, because if so I'm in trouble. It just makes me think about my life up to this point, and be grateful for every minute I have left.

I've been thinking alot lately about friends, and how they are in our lives for a limited time. Some for a long time, and some for a short time.

I think this started the other day because Barb and I were talking at church about jewelry. I know, the usual church conversation...
Anyway, I thought immediately about my friend Nolia. Nolia is one of the coolest people I've known, and I really liked her. We even went on a missions trip to Mexico together, where we got chased by a turkey and almost fell in the Banyo. But that's for another time...
Nolia and I were friends when I lived in GA. And we haven't talked since I moved. But still, she made a lasting impression on me, and I thought about her fondly the other day.

I got to wondering about how people come in and out of our lives, and I remembered what another friend of mine said: that our journey thru life is like a moving sidewalk. You know, those ones at the airport. Like the one in Denver that I almost fell face first on 'cause I wasn't paying attention while I got on.
But she said that friends step on the moving sidewalk, and ride with you for a part of your journey. Then they get off, and you continue on. Some friends are on for the long haul, and some friends only ride with you for a short trip. But you keep going, and eventually there will be another friend to take part of that trip with you.

So, I guess it makes it easier to understand when people come in and out of our lives if we can see the fantastic friends that have come on the journey up to this point. I have been SO lucky, and SO blessed to have had such wonderful friends in my life, even if they stepped off my moving sidewalk awhile ago.

Look around at the friends you've had in your life, and be thankful for the good they brought out in you. Even if it was for a short time.

Much Love, K

stunned and crushed

I don't know what to say. I just, a few minutes ago, found out that a good friend of mine passed away today. He was the husband of a good friend of mine, father to 2 great kids, and almost exactly my age.
David was a great person, and totally just got ripped out of this world. I am so crushed for his wife, and stunned that he woke up not feeling so good, then just passed away.

And 2 minutes later I found out that some good friends from church had a baby this afternoon. She is beautiful, and their famiy is tremendously happy. I am so happy for them.

I feel like I'm being ripped in half.

How could this happen? I have so many questions, and can't stop thinking about the times I spent with David and his family.

And then I looked at pictures of my friends new baby, and couldn't stop smiling.

And then I cried.

I think this is too much to take right now - more later.
K

sang along with this at the top of my lungs

sadness

So I've been a little sad over the past few weeks. You see, the Georgia Theatre burned down. Burned to the ground. And the owner says that he was underinsured, and probably won't have enough money to rebuild, at least not right away.


I've seen so many shows and concerts at the Georgia Theatre, I don't think I could start to count them. I have some very warm, happy memories there, and now it's gone.

I think the reason for the sadness, though, is that this puts a period on that time in my life. Things have changed. I live halfway across the country now, and hardly ever go to shows now. I used to go downtown at least 3 nights a week, and now the only reason I'm downtown is for my Wednesday night Chorale rehearsal. I'm going to propose that Chorale rehearse in my living room from now on so I don't even have to go out for that.


I feel like I'm not the same person I uesd to be. In some ways that's good. (Change is good; become a better person and all that crap) But I think I am going to have to be pulled along kicking and screaming from now on. I don't want to start eating dinner at 4:30, like my Grandparents (God rest their souls) or exclaiming that anything farther than 2 miles away is "all the way at the other end of town!" like my mom. I don't want to get old.


How can I stop the inevitable progression of getting old?


I am making a point from now on to go out of my usual routine, and go downtown. I am going to seek out a new restaurant I have never tried, and go there. I am going to pick a show that I want to see and buy tickets (right now!) I am going to go for a drive, and see the sights without planning the trip first. I'm going to find a park I've never visited, and swing on the swings.

I'm serious about this - ask me what I've done lately to break out of my rut.


Are you going to let oldness creep in and take over? What are you going to do to stay young?
Let me know...
K

the race, the prize, the finish

OK, just want to say first off that I totally stole this URL (and changed it just a little) from a radio station morning show. Just had to get that off my chest.

But, I thought that randomness was a good way to describe my life. It seems that life comes at me (all of us?) in a random sort of way. This may be due to my healthy love of movies, and desire to see everything work in a "scripted" way and have a happy ending. But, as we all know, life just doesn't work that way.

I feel like life works in cycles. My current cycle is now on the upswing. You see, I am a teacher. So this time of year always feels like the beginning of a marathon. You've seen them on TV: there's 15,000 people in one place, all clumped up at the start of the marathon, and most of them are trim and dressed in appropriate athletic attire. Then the air horn goes off, (LOVE that sound) and everyone surges ahead in great anticipation of the next couple hours, with their eye firmly on the finish line.

Though I am neither trim, nor appropriately dressed in athletic clothes, I feel like the air horn just went off. The school year is about to begin, and I'm surging forward along with everyone else feeling quite a bit overwhelmed. To make a point, yesterday I cried in the supermarket. Because there was a MINOR problem in checking out. What is wrong with me?????? My brain knows that was irrational, but somehow my emotions didn't get the message, and let loose.

Anyway, can I just tell you that I cannot even conceive of the finish line right now, much less have my eye on the prize? I actually have my eye on the Valium...

But I have hope. Hope that this school year will be good. Hope that this school year will eventually be over. Hope that this school year will be better than last! Hope that I will be able to sleep soon, without waking up in the middle of the night thinking about lesson plans.

The summer was great, and I have hope that the rest of the year will be also. Many thanks to you friends and co-workers that will make it that way.

Much love, K