My facebook status update from 2 minutes ago: cannot even deal with a broken car right now...
This whole thought of dealing with my car that won't start is really stressing me out. It's not the battery, or anything else engine-wise - it's that the key physically won't turn. I fiddled with the steering wheel and got it to turn once, but then I got to church and parked it. As soon as I took the key out, that was it. No more turney-key.
So I am home, safe and warm, but with my mom's car in my garage instead of mine. Mine is still at the church.
Yes, yes, I know that car troubles are not the end of the world, but it just feels like that right now. It makes me all stressy and unpleasant.
The upside of this is that my parents live here in town, and came to my rescue. Dad came and picked me up, mom let me borrow her car, and they are going to help me tomorrow when I try and get it started with a different key, and hopefully drive it down to the lock place with me. Otherwise, I will have to get it towed there.
Really, in the big scheme of life, this car thing is not the end of the world. My parents are helping me willingly with getting it fixed; I am safe and warm at home; I AM able to take off on Monday if I need to deal with it then.
I just need to get some perspective, and talk myself into NOT having a panic attack over nothing. To be able to deal without losing my cool. As if I had any cool to begin with...
I subscribe to (in)courage by e-mail. (in)courage is a blog written by a group of christian women, and I love reading them. There always seems to be something pertinent and timely on there, and I get an e-mail each day with the day's message. Today, as I came home all twitterpated over this car thing, I opened up the (in)courage e-mail, and Mindy Carlettini had written about her 10 year anniversary as a follower of Christ, but this happened to also be her 10 year anniversary of being off narcotics. She was pondering the times when she could escape reality by getting high, and she said that she didn't tell anyone this for a long time. Finally she talked to her husband about it, and realized that she didn't really want to go back to that escape like she thought she did. And then she writes:
"The difference now though is that when the storms of life come, when I turn to my , I don’t feel the need to escape from reality. God’s love gives me strength and a confidence that I never could have imagined. He gives me the will and the desire to keep on going. He reminds me that He loves me with a love that is so huge and so encompassing that I don’t need to get high when everything around me seems to be spinning out of control. He gives me peace.
I am so thankful for the ways my father loves me. I am so thankful for the ways He is healing me and transforming me. I am so thankful for His spirit that is always with me and I am never alone."
Yes, I realize that her experience is very different than my car thing, but it still applies. I AM thankful that my Father loves me, even when I am stressing over my car. I have unimaginable peace, knowing that He even cares about the things that otherwise seem insignificant. I can turn my eyes toward Jesus, instead of having my eyes on the rear view mirror in worry.
So, I am praying that He will heal my car, using the guys at the key place. And I'm praying that He will give me peace in the middle of the key situation. And I'm thankful that God heals in big ways (broken lives) and in little ways (broken cars).
You should check them out: www.incourage.me