the birds

So where I grew up was about 30 minutes from that creepy church in Hitchcock's movie "The Birds". We drove past it every time we went out to the beach, and someone always had to say, "Hey! That's the church in the birds movie." Usually my mom.

But today I am thankful for other birds - the 10 or so outside my window this morning. I'm sitting here writing, and talking to people on facebook, and those birds are singing away! Happy, and letting everyone within a mile know it. They are singing back and forth - one will sing some, then another will sing something back, then a third one will chime in. Being a singer, I know how this feels! If I understood what they are saying, I'd go out and join in!

Alas, I don't speak bird. Nonetheless, I love sitting here listening to them. The joy. The (bird) stories. The happy flapping as they move from tree to tree.

Makes me joyful just listening to them.

Here's to the birds!
K

rose-colored glasses

OK, this is it. I have decided that from this point I will be unbearably happy. Tomorrow is my last day of "summer work", and then I'm pretty much finished for the summer. Until I have to go back to work in August.

But until that point, I am going to be happy. I am going to see the best. I am going to look for the positive in each situation. Negative Nelly no more!

Seriously, I'm not really a negative person. I just think it's been a hard couple of weeks. But that's a moot point, because from now on I'm the happiest person of all. So happy that it hurts to be around me. So happy that you can tell outside my house how happy I am. :) See?

I just have to take a moment and say that "moot point" reminds me of the episode of Friends where Joey says "it's a moo point. Like a cows opinion - it's moo." Makes me laugh every time I think about that. "It's all moo."

OK, I'm not being happy to be annoying, though I DO think it could deteriorate into that. I'm am CHOOSING to be happy, because I really do believe that your outlook on life colors the way you live. I believe that if you choose to see the best in things that you will be a much happier person. And, conversely, if you always see the negative in things, you are destined to live out your life being miserable.

I do not want to be miserable, so I choose happiness. I choose a positive outlook. I choose to :)

K

the gutter

It has recently come to my attention that often people will let you down. Not you, dear reader, but in general, people may let a person down.

In contrast, there are people who will be there when you need them, like to clean out a gutter perhaps. Today my Dad came over with a ladder and helped me clean out the gutter over my garage. It was fully clogged with pine needles and gunky leaves, and I'm sure there was some mold and other nastiness up there. Anyway, we got it all out, and then ran some water through to make sure that it drained - all good!

Yesterday, my Dad went over to a different person's house and helped with house stuff, like installing a screen door and grouting a tub.

I know that I can always count on my Dad, and not just 'cause he's my Dad. I believe that I could count on him even if we weren't related - he's just that kind of person.

It's hurtful to me when I am kind to someone, and they are not kind to me - It's just human nature, I know, but it's the kind that is personally painful to me.

Now please don't misunderstand: I am not always kind to people. I'm human too, of course. I know that people are broken, not perfect, and prone to take that out on each other. Not only do I know that but I sometimes do it to others as well. I'm not perfect, but that doesn't make it any less painful when someone is hurtful to me.

This has just underscored to me that only God is truly faithful to me. He wants the best for me, He provides for me (even if it is through Dad cleaning out the gutter!), He always is there for me and loves me no matter what, even when I am not so lovable. And often I am not so lovable. But even (especially) in those times, God is faithful. Even when I am unfaithful.

So now I cling to the fact that I am loved by God, and regardless of the hurts I experience in this life, both now and those to come, He loves me. He wants the best for me.

I am very grateful for the family that God has given me, but I am infinitely more grateful that He loves me.

K

what day is it?

I was SO excited to be out of school.

And I must admit that it is pretty sweet - no real schedule to speak of, lots of freedom, sleeping in, reading ALL DAY, and other summer-type stuff. Good times.

But, for the past 7 days, I must have asked 3 or 4 times a day, "What day is it?"

3 OR 4 TIMES A DAY!

How is it that once I don't have my insane school schedule, my brain can't keep track of what day it is? I feel like such a dolt to ask (again) "what day is it?"

One of these days my goal is to be able to keep track of stuff like that. But for now, I'm going to read some more.

Happy Summer!
K

this chair hurts my butt

So today I've been sitting here much more than usual, because I'M OUT OF SCHOOL! Right now, I'm at home on the computer. As I have been much of the afternoon. What a lovely time, to not have any obligations and to feel such freedom. I love that feeling!

But seriously, the chair is hurting me. It's cutting into the back of my thighs, roughly around where my hamstrings are located. I've been sitting here too long.

But it got me to thinking -- sometimes I sit there too long. I think there are times in life where what we really need is to get up and go somewhere. To head off in a direction. Any direction. And yet we sit.

I know I'm guilty of sitting when I should be doing something else, or working toward a goal somewhere that's NOT right here next to my chair.


Is there somewhere you should be headed??
K

a special gift

This is Drew.




I LOVE my nephews.

K :))

wwrd?

I just want to publicly say how much I appreciate Rachel Anne and her Home Sanctuary blog and e-mails: http://www.homesanctuary.com

This week I was disgusted with my house, and how unorganized and unclean it has gotten. Now, if you came over, I don't know if it would leap out at you, but I see it. And I hate it. To be fair, I had a huge trip a week ago, and a 3 hour rehearsal this past Monday night, and a concert Tuesday night, blah, blah, blah. So I don't think I've been shirking my house-ly duties, but in any case, I still hate it.

So, this week I was walking around the house and literally thought, "What would Rachel do?"

And I applied some minimum maintenance to my house. I worked for 15 minutes, and it totally made me feel better. I got some cleaning and straightening done, and was able to have a nice evening without feeling guilty. Plus, there's some kitchen table I couldn't see before and now I can. And my upstairs bathroom got some love too - a clean toilet makes a huge difference!

Anyway, I appreciate her. I appreciate that she give me a place to start when I feel overwhelmed. And that gives me the motivation to dive in this Saturday and really get down to business.

Thanks Rachel Anne!
K

visitation

I just got back home.

This past weekend I took my 5-year-old nephew on a trip. I used to live in GA, and his Mimi and Grandpa still live there, so we went to visit. It was a good trip in all - he's been on a plane several times so the "trip" part was fairly easy. I just made sure that we had plenty of time for everything we had to do, and that meant there was never any "c'mon, we've got to go! we're gonna miss the plane!" I think that would have been a disaster.

Anyway, we made it out there and I thought that he was going to burst before we actually arrived. He was wiggly, and excited, and couldn't sit still on the plane at all. But in his defense, it was pretty exciting! I got to take off school for 2 days in order to go, so I was excited too (but for different reasons! It totally felt like playing hooky...)
After getting him settled at Mimi and Grandpa's, I drove an hour to where I used to live. I lived there for 10 years, and I've only lived here for 6, so I still felt a little like I was going "home".

I was totally mistaken.

I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it was not at all what I got.
I think the problem was that I didn't think about what I was expecting, or what I wanted to get out of the whole deal.

I'm still the same person, right?
I'm still friends with all my friends, right?
Everything's still the same, right?

Nope.

On the whole, it was a nice visit. I got to see some good friends that I made at work. I went to my old church, and got to talk to my pastor. He's going through some things that my family went through in the past few years, so I was able to just let him know that there is an end in sight.
I got to visit with who I would consider my "best" friend from the whole time I lived there - we worked together for 7 years, and even went on a cross-country vacation together. Over iced coffee (it was HOT there! OK, not so hot, but wicked humid) we just sat and talked for a couple hours, while quietly sweating. Saw pictures of each other's family, and how the nephews are getting bigger. And we met for dinner the next evening over amazing Cuban food and sweet tea.

But there was nothing there. Not that I was expecting a relationship, but we've both moved on, and I suddenly realized that, standing in the parking lot of a restaurant in 5 points.

I've moved on.

I'm not sure I was ready to move on.

...

But this is life. And life goes on.

Ultimately that is a good thing, but when it slaps you across the face it has a tendency to wake a person up. I feel like my life there is over, and I wasn't quite ready for that.
So, here's to finding my new life here from now on.
No looking back.
No wistful glances over my shoulder.
No teary trips through the photo albums. (Yes, I have photo albums!)
Here's to keeping your eyes on the road ahead.
K

mother's day

No, don't panic. This weekend is not Mother's Day. But, it is coming up, and I'm excited. I love my mom and all, but this Mother's Day will be a little different.

Mom and Dad are building a house up in the mountains, and it's pretty cool. They have a nice view of some pretty peaks, and it is in a beautiful wooded area, but still close to civilization. I went up a couple weeks ago, and it's getting close to being done. The inside was painted, but there still needs to be bath fixtures, cabinets, floors, and lots of other things installed. But, their builder says the outside is done and it looks great.

Here's a view from one of the upstairs windows:




So, installing the wood floors is a pretty big job, but if we all gather up and do it ourselves it will save them tons of money, so that's what we are going to do. On Mother's Day weekend.

I know, it seems like a weird day to do wood floors, but that's the only weekend that would work for everyone. So our Mother's Day will be gathered around in an unfinished house, on un-installed floors, with a faint odor of floor sealant.

But we will be together.

That's the cool thing to me in all this - that we will be working in an unfinished house, in a not-really-ideal Mother's Day setting, but we will all be together. OK we are going out to lunch, so it won't be a picnic in the unfinished living room, but we will still be together.

That's why I up and moved across the country, so I could be near family. I'm so grateful that I get to be a part of my family again, and that I get to do things like a Mother's Day in an unfinished house.

Love you Mom.
K

the white stuff

I feel like I am usually a fairly upbeat, happy person. OK, yes, occasionally I have my moments, sometime I even have a day. But I think that overall, I'm pretty positive.

Now, I'm starting to think that the weather is affecting me. Today it is snowing to beat the band, crazy wet and slushy outside, and I feel totally ...blaeech. I can't think what it would be except the slush outside.

But I definitely think that your life is what you make it, so I think I will get up and do some cleaning, light some candles, and change things around some. I'm hoping that change breeds change and that will change my mood.

Besides, I need to apply some "a place for everything and everything in it's place" here in my house. I've just laid stuff down too much lately and it's driving me crazy. Maybe that little exercise will help too.

We'll see...
K